When You’re Learning to Have a Real Partner

“Sis, the inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. You needed it to shield your tender heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From…

Gaslighting #1: Repost from Adulting with.  Depression

“If someone gaslights someone else, until they apologize, EVERY interaction gaslighter has with their victim is gaslighting. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. It does not matter what kind of good point the abuser may have, EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION IS GASLIGHTING until they genuinely apologize. In case you are confused:Gaslighting is the process of making people doubt their…

I wore shorts in public yesterday

I wore shorts in public yesterday for the first time since 2007. I wear pajamas with shorts and shorts around my house for the first time since 2007.It’s almost 100 degrees outside and my house was built in 1850 and shorts feel good, so what, you may say. So I’ll tell you what…. I spent…

be loved

I spent so many years LISTENING….listening to the Christian culture that I wasn’t sure I agreed with, listening to people with ulterior motives than my best interest, listening to that which opposed what my heart was telling me. This decision to listen to others over myself would alter my life forever. I can’t help but…

I now pronounce you Divorced AF

Divorced People are so funny about it. And I don’t mean funny-ha-ha. But they want to tell you what they saw and how it might not be what was true or was even worse, but for the love, let them tell you what they could see from the outside.Some people say but you looked happy…

long time comin’

There is only so much to share about things like this. Only so much is appropriate and there is no need to break people down or share details of things that are only meant for the inner most circle.But there are some things to share and that’s okay, too. I am getting a divorce.If you’re…

When There Is Lying

So what happens whenA person lies about small things that don’t matter.And a person lies about so many small things you stop believing anything they say? What happens when you don’t know if ever they are honest? With you? With themselves? When there is lying, there is a complete breakdown. It’s further than that word…

Thoughts

What people think of us isn’t who we are. What we think of others isn’t always who they are. There are layers of others, even those we think we know completely. Take captive every thought.

can’t.

How do you explain abuse to those that abuse? How do you teach selflessness to the selfish? How do you explain willingness to forgive and purposed vulnerability are not the same? How do you separate what has already been separated? How do you say no more and not create a victim out of a victim?…