When You’re Learning to Have a Real Partner

“Sis, the inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. You needed it to shield your tender heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From…

Gaslighting #1: Repost from Adulting with.  Depression

“If someone gaslights someone else, until they apologize, EVERY interaction gaslighter has with their victim is gaslighting. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. It does not matter what kind of good point the abuser may have, EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION IS GASLIGHTING until they genuinely apologize. In case you are confused:Gaslighting is the process of making people doubt their…

On the subject of Forgiveness

As expected, when you share a hard truth or act as a whistle-blower you’ll be villanized. To say I’ve accepted this is true. It’s also hard to accept sometimes. One of the first blow backs is always those who want to advise on forgiveness. So let’s get that one out of the way: Forgiveness and…

Digging into the Past, Emotional Abuse: Part Three

Originally posted on Long Days. Short Years.:
If I wasn’t naming this in a series, I would call this one something clever about dirty laundry. When my mother first cut me off, she uninvited me to Christmas events and did the regular silent treatment as emotional punishment thing. We even invited her to our home…

Sharing Your Story

Sharing our stories is scary. Allowing someone into your mind, your feelings, knowing others look to condemn those, is frightening. People in the story don’t like when we release the truth. They’ll say we are gossips, we are playing the victim, we are villains, we are immature, we like drama, we need attention. But sharing…

Set a Guard — Grace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday! Medieval castles and fortresses were developed along similar lines throughout Britain and Europe. In Britain, the names given to parts of the complex are still recognizable to us. We know about the moat around the castle, which was originally the trench around the motte, or mound, on which the […] via Set a…

Digging into the Past, Emotional Abuse: Part One

Originally posted on Long Days. Short Years.:
Five years ago in October, I confronted someone in a lie about me and instead of remorse, they attacked back. I was called names, belittled, told I was a bad mother and a “bad Christian,” which was a typical situation with this person. Then, in a final text…

Trickle-down Narcissism

Originally posted on Grace for my Heart:
It’s Narcissist Friday!     ? Human beings are amazingly adaptable. We joke about doing the same wrong things over and over, but when we see success, we want to do the same thing. We read how-to books by people who have been successful. We go to lectures…